I'd never thought about it. How crazy is that? I mean I acknowledged it; I'd even commented on the irony factor (at least twice), but I never thought about it's potential until somebody said something.
"No, really. you need to do something other than just get a divorce or you will forever remember that you divorced on/near your bday. that stinks."
I think I saw that in an old Star Trek episode once. Captain Kirk and his wife, Ricardo "Kahn" Mantalban were relaxing in their quarters. Kirk said something glib about the price of fine Corinthian leather sofa, and Ricardo got in a tizzy and flew off with Herve Villechaize to start an island fantasy of his own. Oh he did return years later to stick a bug in Chekov's ear and conquer the universe, but you can only cater to other people's fantasies for so long before you need to fulfill your own.
"Kahn!"
"Smiles everyone smiles!"
Maybe my "Been there done that" divorce 360 mentor was right. I needed to watch less television; I also needed to do something different for my birthday. I needed to reclaim it as Rob Federation space. I saw what happened when Kahn let his divorce fester. Did I really want to do that? I'm already the creepy old guy on the block.
"You kids get off of my lawn!"
Maybe I should work at being Rob for a bit before I settle into that role. I have to admit, my mentor's concern made me concerned. Was this really gonna screw up my birthday for the rest of my life? I'm young and impressionable. I can't have that.
Fine, whatever, my remaining birthdays are limited, but I am still impressionable. You can't take that from me. You can? Oh, Ok...
So I posted the question, "What should I do?" to Divorce 360 community. Those D360 folk are intelligent and experienced. Whenever I need answers, I go to them.
Most of them were intelligent enough to refrain from answering. Great…Actually I did get a few answers. Somebody suggested a George Castanza opposite day. I think it was a sort of slingshot into tomorrow. Wasn't that the plot of Star Trek 4? Ensign Castanza wanted to save the Single George whale while Cosmo Kirk just wanted to play with the space time continuum? Science officer Newman worked out a way to screw up both plans, leaving Jerry and Elane to work things out with the Wooke workers union.
"New-man."
Maybe it's more like the Evil Spock episode. Goateed Leonard Nimoy went in search of way's to sabotage Kirk's Enterprise. Well I've been goateed, and I've sabotaged enough enterprises in my own time: Where's the "opposite" here? Maybe it is time to back away from the remote control slowly.
Maybe I should become a Jesuit Monk. Yeah, I think that might be just up the opposite-Rob alley, I'll have to look into the whole, fasting, vow of silence, isolation, vacation package thing. Oh, and according to my D360 helper, this cloister package did included a Led Zepplin soundtrack. Well that's cool...
"Been a long time, been a long time…"
Several other people suggested I "Do what I like." What if I don't know that anymore? Here I am boldly going where no Rob has gone before, and I don't know. I've changed over the past year. They joy's of the old Rob were shared joy's of MyUnwife. What makes me happy now? I thought when I answered this one in third grade I was done. Sonofa—they always change the question!
See, now this turns into a philosophical debate, and there's no margin for error. I don't have any nameless guys in red shirts to send out and test the ideas for me.
"Sir, the indigenous population just vaporized our landing party."
"See Bones? I told you this was not the planet of the wild-green-nookie-women."
"Damn-it Jim! I'm a doctor not a cartographer!"
"Not much of a doctor either, I still have that rash…"
So I'm exploring my new options and new frontiers. I can tell I'm not going to resolve this crisis in the blog time/space provided without preempting Adam 12. So go on over to the D360 world. Tell me what to do, tell me where to go. Yeah, a lot of people have already suggested there. It's kinda hot in June though.
To be continued...
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