My world is walled off again!
Yay!
Ok, one corner of it. I'm still leaking grey personal matter like a dam in Holland, and there's no little Dutch girl to plug it up. What? It was a Dutch boy plugging the dam? Hey you mind your damn leaks, I'll mind mine. Mine require sandy beaches, a beautiful brunette, and some rum drink I'm too intoxicated to order by name. I can still point and finger swirl "bring another." That's communication. That's all that matters. That's what early explorers did. How do you think James Cook ordered his last Mai Tai before the Islanders threw him on a spit with an apple in his mouth?
"I know it's on the itinerary, but I'm gonna skip the Cook Hookie lau. Thanks anyway."
Where was I? The brunette? No, it was before that. Ah yes, my walled off world. Yeah, they put up one of my walls. Not the RV neighbor wall, but the Hermie the dental elf side. I'm excited. I love the smell of progress. It makes me feel like I'm moving forward. I'm in uncharted waters.
My dog Cosmo likes it to. He dog paddles through progress. Oh, I'm not so sure he cares about the wall, but he does care that he's not chained up. I kept him leashed while the guys built the fence. He's not the type to run off, but with no wall or gate to keep him, I was worried he'd just over explore himself. He'd be like Lewis and Clark without a Sacajawea. He's a guy. He'd wind up in Texas before he realized he was lost. Yes, it's true, every man needs a woman to ask directions or at least tell him where to go. MyUnwife used to tell me where to go.
That's another exploration. This the exploration of a boy, a dog, and a need for a gate. See the guys did finish the wall, but there's this gaping gap where the gate should be. The wall guys knew cinder block and mortar, not wrought iron and hinges.
Like I said, Cosmo probably won't go anywhere, but all it takes is merbitch to wag her tail outside the wall and he's gone. Oh he's fixed, but shhh. I don't think he knows. We guys never do.
So rather than leave him tied up for the rest of his life, I grabbed Leonard Nimoy and went in search of a gate. Leonard refused to wear the Spock ears, but still I needed his documentary experience, so I settled for a Vulcan neck massage.
Do you know how hard gates are to find? I might as well be searching for an LA virgin. (No, Leonard didn't know where they were either.) They don't exist. I did find something at Lowe's ( a gate, not a virgin. I did see a girl tied to the yard volcano in the garden section. The red vest employees were dancing a Hokey Pokey around her, but I just thought it was a birthday ritual.). It's a custom order entry for about $1,200. That's only a little less than what I paid for my half of the wall. Now I know, metal is more expensive than concrete, but still. I have a hard time justifying that much, let alone affording it.
Decisions...
Still, it's all they have and it is really cool. Soon I've found a siren call of my own. I'm flipping through the style book.
"Ro-ob. Oh Ro-ob…come out and play-ay…"
That's when it hit. I'd been smacked by a tumbling wall cinder block. This was the first time I'd shopped like this since MyUnwife left. Oh I've been into Lowe's, but I haven't shopped for things because they "look nice." I've been strictly function. In fact 2 months ago I'd have probably said, "yeah, bring me that slab of plywood. It'll fit." Now I'm looking for something that'll make my house look nice. What's next? A swimming pool and a paint job? Everybody knows, security doors are a gateway drug. Yeah, sorry. Ok, not really.
It hurts. MyUnwife and I used to do this all the time. We'd wander the home stores going "Wouldn't it be cool to do this?"
"Yeah! And what if we…"
And it would go on. It's how we had fun, making plans for a future. I think that's discovery I hated the most: the future lie. Still when in Lowe's...I looked through the catalogue. This was something, pain or no, that I needed to do. I'm moving on, and this is just another point on a map. That's all. The earth is round and there are no sea monsters.
Right now I share my world with Cosmo. He wouldn't care if I put up a plywood barrier. He's a landscaping dog, but he deals more in digging troughs. Vertical, above ground structures hold no interest to him.
"Are you gonna feed me?"
"Of course."
"Then do what you want. Look! Something shiny! Gotta go!"
That's my dog. I'm not going to get him the $1,200 gate. I don't know what I am gonna do long term. I can't find anything out there, but I will. I'm not worried. For now, I put up a chunk of chain link that was left in my back yard. It stretches across the opening pretty well. It's something to fill the void until I find something real. It won't keep anything out, but it will keep Cosmo and I in. That's what matters. We're both are prone to explore, and without rum or a girl, we're gonna get lost.
No Decision at all...
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