This morning I perused my usual blog stomp. You know, compared the crackers of other bloggers to my linguistic manna. I'm most disappointed to report that "I'm in love with Rob" hasn't caught on with anybody else but me. I'd expected to see it plastered across the net like Martha Stewart's trophy cupcakes. Maybe I need post comments on all the blogs. You know, sort of an inside joke.
"Who's Your Favorite Dick Van Dyke Show Character?"
"I'm in love with Rob!"
Maybe it would help if somebody got the joke. You know, besides me…the joke would be funnier…
That's something else I didn't see on my "it's a blog world" ride. Up until now, every blog offered holiday tips for the lonely divorcee. Christmas, Valentines Day, President's day, you name it. There's a site guiding you through the pitfalls of the divorce.
We used to dress up on Presidents' Day. She'd dress up like Betsy Ross, and I'd show her my wooden teeth...
I won't even go into the groundhog day sites! Ok, wait, I will--but only briefly. This is what I found on groundhog.org:
...Groundhogs also whistle in the spring when they begin courting.
What does he whistle? Barry White, Marvin Gaye, Rick James? Yoko Ono? Just how funky is the groundhog? I should track him down; I need to refresh my "courting" technique. "I have woodshop third period" doesn't impress the ladies anymore. On the other hand, I could see where the groundhog could be onto something.
"...Just put your lips together and blow…"
Much more effective. Thank you my furry friend.
Do you know what holiday was overlooked on the 2008 divorce relief roll call? Nobody mentioned April Fools day! What the heck is that? April fools was very important in our house. We didn't really celebrate it, per se. Ok, we didn't observe it, but that's because every day was April Fools day in the Boyd household.
We always had some joke, or obscure humor running through every day. Sometimes it was just the altering of household props:
"Why is Gumby riding Pokey?"
"He was lonely. It ain't easy being green you know."
"I see…what are you, a fifteen year old boy?"
"I was once."
"And you never really out grew that did you?"
"Well it was a fun time…"
See? That's how we filled our days. Everyday was filled with what I like to call "Witty banter." She called it something else. I'm not sure I can print that though. Still it was fun. And whether she'd like to admit it or not, she laughed. It was always one of my goals: find a way to make her smile. Celebrate laughter, and yeah, make every day, an All Fools celebration.
During the divorce we both forgot that. We forgot to make each other laugh, and we forgot how to laugh. Every joke became a personal attack
"Why is Gumby riding Pokey?"
"To get to the other side?"
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Well according to you, nothing I do makes sense."
"That's not what I said, but I'm not going to refute it."
"Whatever!"
Yeah, we were more fun than a barrel of monkey brains in the Mohave desert, and it only got smellier from there. We forgot to laugh, even at the absurdity of ourselves. And let me tell you, in 2007, there was plenty of absurdity to laugh at.
You'll be happy to know, I did make it through my first April 1st alone. So that's another holiday down. What's next? I can take them all now. My calendar says…May 26th…Memorial Day. Aww Crap.
I hate how they try to
my groundhog sites...
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