Friday, April 11, 2008

"I have my books and my poetry to protect me..."-Simon And Garfunkel




Bring out the Gimp.


I would, but I don't have any fish heads to offer him. Oh wait, that's the Geek, the Gimp is the leather masked Pulp Fiction guy. Ok, I think I've got that table set. Right now, I am the gimpjust not that gimp. I'm the gimp who looks more like Igor for the Frankenstein films.


I sprained my ankle. You can't miss me now. No I mean it. If you're driving around town and you see the guy lurching across the street, it's me. Just swerve a little, you can't miss. I may try to dodge, but really all that will happen is I'll fall flat in front of your car. Rob fish in an electrical barrel, I'm telling you.


It's a good experience for me. Not falling in front of your car. I'm pretty good at that, but the ankle thing. Every time I've sprained it before I've always had somebody around to help me. My parents, My roommates, MyUnwife. Always somebody around to at least move stuff out of my way as I shamble across the floor.


This is Rob relying on Rob. It's good. It reminds me of something I read. There was news report about how psychologists can gauge a couples longevity by their friendship factor. You know, It's how close of friends they are. They say that friendship with your spouse will help you through the tough times. Ok, it's a weak tie from "Rob relying on Rob" to "Relationship Friends" but it's my blog, work with me and I limp from one to the other.


I can agree with relationship friend thing. I think at first, that's what I missed most. I missed that long before she physically left, but that's an argument for a different day. For the first few years anyway, we were really good friends. We weren't the "I'll finish your sentence cuz I'm so cute that other people want to be wrap us in a burlap sack and beat us with a bat and thrown us in the river cuz they're jealous of our special spark" friends. No we were just "comfortable." It was a really cool trust/camaraderie bond. She knew if she fell I may not catch her, but I would make sure it looked like she fell on purpose.


It was a sort of in sync thing. Sort of like an impromptu jam session for really good musicians. I was Carlos Santana, she was Karen Carpenter on drums, playing together like we'd been doing it for years.


The last few years though, I think we got too into our own music. We played a group solo and turned into The Wyld Stallyons from Bill and Ted.


San Dimas High School Football rules.


Maybe so, but we sucked. And so did our relationship. It was good when we tried, but nobody was trying. I mean I did, and I'm sure she did, but not together, and not in a way or time that mattered. It's a shame, because we were good friends. She said towards the end that the shame was that the "married stuff" got in the way.


I disagree, I think it's what made the bond as strong as it was. Without that, we'd have floated into our own orbits years ago. In fact, we probably wouldn't have gotten married to begin with. Then again, maybe that's what she meant. Not me. Ok, sure, it was a bigger risk, and eventually we failed, but It was a worthwhile risk, and I'd do it again. I would never say that it got in the way. If anything I think it sighed and fell away. Sort of like if the Moon lost interest and floated off to Mars.


I'll miss what we had. Even if we remain friends we'll never be the friends we were before, and I hate losing that. I value the friendship quality in people most, even though it could be argued that "friend" is a group of qualities. It can't be argued that MyUnwife and I will never be the friends we were before.


I don't say this to lament the past, but as I gimp around the house, I need to concentrate on healing. I need to sit for a bit and get better. Emotionally I've been doing the same thing. I'm learning for the future. I know now I shouldn't step on big rocks in my driveway or I'm gonna taste cement. Emotionally, I need to work on my relationships and not accept that they'll always be fine. Even the good relationships need work, and you need to watch where you step if you don't want to limp off into the sunset.


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