"You're left alone with something …"-Sugar

"I'll work out the numbers and I'll shoot you an estimate later this evening."

An estimate. That's what the guy's sending me. Everything in my life these days is about estimates and estimations. The divorce, our assets, my fence. It's all about rough concepts governed by fair trade.

I like concrete. That's why I'm replacing my fence with a wall. Walls are precise. In fact, that's what the guy says he wants to put up: "precision block." That's great, I don't know masonry, he might as well have told me he's building it out of Barney Rubble.

"It's the latest in purple dinosaur quarry."

"Great…"

It's all part of the estimate. My divorce is the same way. How do you split things? Who decides what's more important to whom? Who puts a value on a side board you bought because you needed something to put under the hanging pot rack? Sure it goes well with the pots, but it also goes well with the sander you bought to refinish the top. And what about the time you both spent in the kitchen making it look new? What about the time you spent "testing it's strength" when you first put it up? How do you divide that kind of time and memories? Estimates?

Shared memories? There's no I in team and there certainly is not an "us" to share in a divorce. There is half the word "divide." Probably not a coincidence. The other half of "divorce" must mean "estimate."

Some divorces get really ugly over where to draw the dotted line. King Solomon said, "Split the baby." Ok, it wasn't a divorce, but it's the same idea. Some things don't divide well. Some things you can't split into same-size Tupperware and expect to stay as good as new. Baby's are a great example, so are pets. That's why you need an estimate, but estimates are never 100% accurate. They require give and take, and in divorce there's very little give. In a friendly divorce you do your best to simply not take.

That's why I let MyUnwife take what she wanted. Oh, that doesn't make me more a giver than the next guy; let me repeat. I let MyUnwife take what she wanted. I didn't offer anything. I didn't "give" her anything. If she took it, fine. If she didn't, good for me; that's one more egg in my basket. In my estimate, that was fair. It was the closest I could come. Some times estimates are about how far you'll go before you explode into a million pieces somebody else will has to divide.

She's been gone for a while, so has the stuff she took. Short of the occasional ghost of a moment, I'm done missing both. That means most estimates between us are done. There's still a few things, like divorce dates, but like my wall, that will go up when it goes up.

I'm not sure how I'm paying for my wall. I'll wait and see what it costs, what my neighbor will pay, and what my insurance company wants to pitch in. Then, I'll look at what's left, and estimate a way to get by.