I used to dream about my future with my unwife. Not as in asleep dreaming, more like the awake type. I don't remember ever sleep dreaming of her while we were together. That's not a knock on her, it's just how I dream.
I dream in color, but I don't dream about other people other than me. Is that weird? I dunno. I had a friend who always observed their dreams as an outsider. I never understood that. Then again, I only have my dreams to go by. I can't see inside your head while you sleep. Would it creep you out if I said I tried? OK then I probably shouldn't tell you. Let me just say that you look so peaceful when you sleep.
Anyway, we're talking about me. My dreams, My sleep, MyUnwife. No, she wasn't there. Usually the only people in my dreams are parents, sisters, and monsters. NO! MyUnwife was not one of the monsters. That's not nice. I'm a nice guy. That's what my dreams tell me.
After she left, I had dreams about MyUnwife. I don't really remember them, just a silent brooding presence. I guess she didn't have her dream SAG card; she couldn't get a speaking role. Oh, I did have the dream that she was a stripper once. I'm still not sure what that one meant. She spoke to me there. Of course she talked. I'm a guy who has a stripper dream of his ex-wife who's fully clothed and wants to talk. Oh, she was gathering stuff too. Leaving. That is one thing she does in my sleep dreams. When she's there, she leaves.
I had a dream last week, before the paperwork stuff. I dreamed she came by and picked up some clothes she'd left. She didn't really talk there, just took things and left. A stripper of memories, I guess. I remember feeling loss and nostalgia in the dream, but woke up refreshed. Maybe I was working it out in my sleep. A sort of sleep acceptance. I dunno. I don't get those things. I have trouble interpreting real life.
I had a friend once who had "prediction" dreams about people. There was something about roses too. Different colored roses meant different things, and it seemed to be something passed down in their family. Now, I'm afraid to open email I'm afraid I'll get one saying, "I had a dream: you died. Take care!" Great. I'm friends with Ms. Cleo. Well at least I don't have to pay $2.99 for the first minute like I do with all my other friends.
That's ok, they don't appear in my dreams either. My dreams usually revolve around me. My dream last night? It's a great example.
I dreamed I was sitting in a bar. It was like a TGI Friday's commercial. There's a gang of five of us sitting in a booth. A new friend shows up and we all slide over to let them in. Ok, press pause here. These laughing faces? These aren't my friends. These are dream puppets. I don't know these people. Oh, in my dream we're best of buds, just like those kids on Romper Room were my best friends. Just like those laughing friends in the TGI Friday's commercial. So no, once again, I don't dream of friends. Ok, press play. The dream puppets are laughing about their days. I'm telling some story. Probably about MyUnwife. They laugh at that too, cuz everything I say in my dreams is cool.
I look away from the group and see a really pretty girl sitting at the bar. She's alone. She raises a wine glass and smiles at me. Nice smile. See? This is how I know it's a dream. I SEE her smile. In reality I'd squint back, and then probably tell the guy next to me that the girl at the bar is trying to get his attention. The guy next to me is Cute Dreamy Guy #1. If you missed him last night, it's because he was here. Sorry, cheer up, in my dream, he's not getting the girl. I am.
Raising my beer, I nod and smile back. Somehow I materialize at the bar next to her. Cool because getting out of the middle of the booth was going to be awkward. In real life, I'd be wearing Nachos. Dream girl introduces herself, "I'm Blah Blah." I smile, I like her name. I tell her so. Soon we're talking about all the things we have in common, I'm buying her drinks, we're laughing, we're falling for each other. Everybody say "Awww." thanks.
This is where I feel a pain in my chest. I look down, and there's a crossbow bolt protruding from it. I look at the girl, she has a shocked look on her face, and a matching bolt through her chest. Looking back to the bar entrance I look for the shooter. An over exuberant Cupid? MyUnwife? I don't know. It doesn't matter. My dream girl and I fall to the floor. Moments later there's somebody standing over me. By magical dream medicine, they've revived me at my dream bar. The same technique didn't work for my dream girl though, she's still dead. NOW I wake up. Why couldn't I have done that before the crossbow guy?
So, yeah. These are my dreams. My sleep dreams. It's funny, they're now as realistic as my old awake dreams. Now I have to create new dreams. A new Rob in a new world I still don't have these dreams, but I'm getting to a point where I know I can, and that's something I hadn't dreamed I'd be able to do. Now I can move on, so long as my Ms. Cleo friend doesn't email me to tell me otherwise.
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