"Eventually, you'll finally get it right…"-Ataris

Why do we divorce? I don't know, why is the sky blue. Ok so there's at least a reasonable answer to sky/blue thing: If it were green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing the lawn. Sorry, bad joke. Just another gift from me to you. A side effect from my divorce. I can't wrap the smelly fish of Rob humor into a cellophane bouquet and give them to MyUnwife anymore.

MyUnwife: "oh...thanks. Here try this: why did the chicken cross the road."

Me: "I don't know, Why?"

MyUnwife: "To get to the divorce lawyer on the other side."

Me: "Well that's not funny."

MyUnwife: "Huh. Strange coincidence don't you think?"

Yeah. Maybe that's why we divorce: the cute colored chalk on slate scrawling love letters that drew us together originally, turned into fingernail screeches against the chalkboard of our discontent. Every motion an antagonistic reminder of your one biggest mistake. Do you remember it?

"I do."

I know, bitter huh? But that's how it is when couples reach the "divorce point." If you don't find a way back, you fall off the edge. Unlike Columbus's world, Marriage Earth isn't round, and we're always one step away from falling off.

"Well thanks for the pep talk Rob!"

Actually, I do find it kind of comforting. I think that that knowledge frees couples to start looking for ways keep from falling. Marriage is a three-legged race, and when one person goes, so does the other. It's all balance and cooperation. Fighting for it, will keep you steady.

So says the guy getting a divorce. But hey, divorce is easy—at least in concept. It's a light switch flick away from being married. Why do we get divorced? Why do we turn off the light? I'm not sure it really matters. I think we need to ask "How do we stay married?" And that question needs to be asked long before our toes dangle over turfs end.

Reasons for divorce are snowflakes on our tongue: each one different, none of them satisfying. We all have them, some of us get them before our partner smashes that first slab of white-cake and butter frosting into or smile plastered faces. Others wait for the first pair of dirty underwear to fall outside the clothes hamper three-point zone. All reasons are valid, at least to us.

I was having a conversation with a friend. I made a bitter remark about MyUnwife's "reasnons,"

"You know," my friend said, drawing her fingers through her beard, "We never know how deeply the other person is affected by the things we deem trivial. You can never judge another person's pain."

"Yes I can!"

Patting my shoulder, "Well yes, and that's what makes you special Rob."

"Thank you."

Still, after some thought I knew my friend was right. I still don't see MyUnwife's reasons as divorce worthy. I never will. MyUnwife did though, and that's what's important. I'll always look at this as a grave misunderstanding and lack of communication. But that doesn't matter. A smelly fish by any other name is still a smelly fish. And that's why we divorce.