Rob.
Today I got the following in a letter from one of the organizers of my High School reunion.
Event Theme: Back to the Future...
That was the start of the email I received this morning. It was pre-coffee, so the rest of the details are a little sleep-blurred. I think there was something about "Don't use this in your blog, or I'll find out where you live." I'm not sure. I do remember the purple font though. I distinctly remember the purple…
Purple. That's the color of a dinosaur. It's also the color of the whatever fluid poured down on Prince throughout the 80s. Wasn't that like a preschool warning? "Don't eat the yellow snow and don't stand in the purple rain."
I only wanted 2 see u bathing in the purple rain...
Kinky. Still, that Prince, what an innovator! He was Txt msg B4 txt msg was cool. That's not me. I'm still behind the times. My first bluetooth device only just came in. My friend is even worse: she's still blue-teething, and she's cranky. She's cranky about the reunion and their choice in music. Welcome to my world...
"...do you have any advice for getting through a whole evening of 80s music???!!!!"
Dear anonymous reunion friend, find a stalwart local friend with a pillow. Place friend on chest and have them deploy said pillow over your face. Hold. Don't worry, the kicking and screaming will subside. It's only your reaction to the "Safety Dance," It's a common side effect...
Cuz your friends don't dance…
"...a whole evening of 80s music???!!!!" Yeah, the punctuation belonged to her too. I'm associating with purple punctuation freaks. I used to know a comma queen. No that's not a transvestite period with a dangle, it's a person who wields a red pen like a bloody sickle—sort of the Queen of Hearts of the editing world. I always tried to stay on her good side, but this isn't about her. This is about my purple friend, and her reunion dilemma, and how it relates to my divorce. I know you're all curious about how I'm pulling that train back around.
In good time…
I don't have any Prince quotes that mean "in good time." why is that? He always seemed so patient. Huh...
My purple friend isn't prince, nor is she a dinosaur either, but the 80s reunion probably makes her feel like one. Maybe that's why she's worried about the 80s music. It probably has nothing to do with the 2 hour Duran Duran-athon. And what about all those bands we've forgotten? Debarge, before "El" leapt out on his own. The Miami Sound Machine before Gloria Estephan said "Shut down that noisy contraption, it's all about me?" The The, Mr. Mister, Debbie Deb, Lisa Lisa…I can't make this kind of stutter up!
We go back to the reunions 4 2 (see? I'm cool now!) reasons: 1. to show how much cooler we are than the guys who hung us from the football goal post with our Bee Gee's lunchbox dangling around our neck. 2. To remember the good times (while we weren't hanging up like some crucified geek with a Flavor Flav time piece).
That's why I think it would be such a cool idea to do Divorce Reunions! We could play all the music that we grew to love together. The songs that drew us together, the songs that tore us apart. You start the evening out with little nametags. You know, the pet names.
"Sheera, love mistress! OMG! [because in the future we'll talk in acronyms too LOL…] It's me, Cuddle Smurf!"
Then, after some wining, dining, dancing and reminiscing, we'll graduate to the ex spouse dodge ball. Teams will be picked by using the names we called our partners at the end. Yeah, I'd rather not repeat those, but you get the idea.
It's perfect! It gets out the aggression we've held in all these years and catches us up at the same time! We'll keep a staff paramedic on hand just in case the "catching up" turns into "I couldn't get away!"
"How was the reunion Chuck?"
"We laughed, we cried, she smacked me in the eye with an under inflated volleyball. Good times."
The Divorce class of 2008. That's the picture where you'll find me. MyUnwife will be the woman smiling at the goal posts. I'll be the guy hanging overhead. Where she found my old Bee Gee's lunchbox, I'll never know...
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