Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"The boulevard is not that bad…"-Elton John




" Is he on the roof yet?"

"He's on the roof."


Welcome to last night's conversation. I'm tapping words into my computer, and it's replying. The miracle of modern electronics. That worried me most when MyUnwife left: talking, and my lack of it. I love to share ideas. When MyUnwife left, I lost my outlet. That's right Let's all take 20 seconds or so to glare at her for the evil she's wrought.


Ok, I'm sure she's crispy now.


I have 3 really good friends from pre-MyUnwife days. They're all at least 300 miles away. Kinda sucks. Even worse, two of them think their families are more important than I am! Harumph!


The other acknowledges my importance, but gave up her internet service the day I told her MyUnwife moved out. Coincidence? I think not! Yeah, think on that for a moment. She gave up her internet? It wasn't stolen from her by some Bill Gates' Stormtrooper. She let it go. That's like waking up one day, rolling over and saying, "I’m giving up food." Who does that? Who does that When they have a Rob in need? Can you say irresponsible? I'd call her and tell her so, but her husband is home and he always takes her side in these things. He's a big ex-military guy. I'm just a scrawny ex-nerdy guy. Ok, not so much ex. Either way, I guess I should be grateful for 300 plus miles.


That's the other thing. Do you notice a pattern? All my friends have families. I mean one of them is divorced, but he's got a pic-nic basket of daughters he's responsible for. That's three women to my none. I don't feel bad about it except when I'm whiny. When MyUnwife left, I felt really whiny.


I work at home, It's not like I have a social life, and yet I'm a SoCal social creature. Can you imagine Paris Hilton in a vacuum? Can you imagine Paris Hilton holding a vacuum? I too need people to adore me! Where would my next adoration fix come from? Yeah, there's my dog. His heart's in the right place, but his lauds palpitate with dog breath. It's Not quite what I'm looking for. I like my conversation like I like my Cheerios: Floating above, and spilling out all over. Dogs spill out, but we don't call that conversation. We call that drool. I need real conversation too; My dog speaks only in my dreams.


"I want you to kill…"


I thought I'd die the first months. MyUnwife gone, I bounced around the house just to hear the sounds echo from the walls.


"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"


It didn't fall. Over time, I met people I never dreamed I'd meet. People living different lives in different parts of the world sharing ethereal connectivity through an Ethernet connection. Little lexicon icons calling "Hey Rob!," culling loneliness.


So I'd recommended Almost Famous to one of my new friends as "the most unapologetic 'I love music' movie I've ever seen." I did so, because, well, it is. It's also on my all time favorite list. Hey, what do you want? I'm a music snob not a movie snob. I liked Robocop too; sue me. What surprised me, is my friend actually took me up on my recommendation, even knowing I liked Robocop. They rented Almost Famous!


"You like me! You really, really like me!"


Last night we bumped into each other online. I was getting ready to go write in the mall, but when I heard the words "Almost Famous" I stopped. My writing could wait, my friend was watching my movie! That rocked. I grabbed my copy (cuz ya know I own it.), asked where they were in the movie, and popped it into my computer.


Pseudo-syncing was a trick:


WebNerd: ...yup. So where you at?

CoolFriend: Russell and William are at the house party in Topeka

WebNerd: Already?

CoolFriend: I think there's acid

yes there's acid…


We got close.


I'd never done that before. No we couldn't share popcorn, but we didn't share my smelly toes either. Those ten little gems of joys were all mine. Rocking back my office chair, I floated away in a movie and chat with a friend. What better way is there to spend a Monday night?


"I am a golden god!"


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