Saturday, February 16, 2008

Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginning's End…"-Semisonic




All good things must come to an end.


It's true. A bowl of Ben & Jerry's is only so deep. The Princess Bride is only 98mins. When you get to 99 minutes on the wall, you either take another film down, pass it around, or you press Play one more time.


"As you wish…"


And yes, today is the last day of my vacation. That blows. I look at the list of things I accomplished this week and wonder how I did it.


Let's see…I got up…I wrote blogs…I replied to everything in my inbox. I got that on Wednesday. I replied to it on Thursday, "Dear Amazon, Thanks for offering me the 20% discount on How to Save Your Marriage. I appreciate that the offer is only good this week, but I think it's shelf life is past redemption for me. I'll probably drink the chunky milk before I'll need to swallow the information found in these pages…"


I think that was me at my busiest. One friend told me today, "You should go to the beach." Where were they Monday? I'd have loved to do that. Now I still haven't cleaned my garage and I need to do it to feel like I've accomplished something.


See, that's the thing about ending things. At some point we reflect, "What good did that do me? What did I accomplish?" I don't know. Maybe it's me. I over think everything. Ask MyUnwife. She'd never play Scrabble with me. My turns didn't seem to end.


"I'm going to smoke. I'll expect you to play a word before I get back."

"Get used to disappointment."

"I already have…"

"I do not think that means what you think that means."

"Stop quoting and start playing, Inigo."


And see? Even those Scrabble games ended. Myunwife will tell you that she learned to never play scrabble with me. I say she got something; she should be grateful. It is a tough thing to give up something you love though. She loved the game, just not the player. At least not after the last tile was placed. I was just trying to optimize my move, get the most out of each play. Was there a triple words score within 3 tiles of something useful? I have a QZTX that I'm sure I can make it work off the "MARRIAGE" on the board! Just give me a moment...


So as my window of my marriage slams behind me, I wonder about what was good or bad; what did I learn? Peering back through the glass, I see points that could be stacked on either side. It's kind of like the Resident Evil movie on cable last night. Over all it was ok, but the ending sucked. What's more, from this side of the window's pain, It's like being a voyeur. It's not my life anymore. It's somebody else. It's Cary Elwes fighting to the pain.


That's the one thing about vacations: they leave plenty of time for reflection if I stop long enough. This vacation I was busy doing lots of things. Most of it just screwing around. I thought about the divorce a bit. I recognized that even bad things come to an end. Maybe not fast enough, but everything closes. That's right. It's just a matter of slogging through, cuz there's a really good chance that something good is on the other side. It's true. A bowl of gruel is only so deep. Fool's Gold is only 113mins. When you get this point in my blog, even this post comes to a merciful end. You just have to push through it and don't over think everything.


0 comments: