"I will keep you there so you can't bother me…"-Bright Eyes

Two months down in 08 and I'm already cranky. Ok granted, it didn't take more than five minutes out of bed, cold toes pressed against Pergo flooring to get there, but still, I like to be a happy guy. I'm blaming TV. I'm blaming MyUnwife. Yeah, not looking a heck of a lot different than 07 is it?

It is different though. I am cranky. I wasn't cranky in 07. In 07 I was sulky. Not to be confused with, "sultry." 07 was not a sultry year unless sweatshirt and sweats make you swoon. In that case "hubba-hubba," I was a fleece god stubbling in the sun. Sort of a Family Guy meets Heavy Metal by way of the Smurf village.

Other than that, I was about as much as a much fun as a priest at a bachelor party.

"Sorry she hit you with her spurs father…"

That was 07. 08 is different. I've cranked it to the "cranky," and blame television and MyUnwife. I'm getting nothing but static and reruns. See, I need original input and I'm not getting it. MyUnwife is no longer around so I can't live vicariously through her wacky antics, and I don't even know what to do with a How I Met Your Mother Rerun. Where's the divorce? The Strife? The fighting over who gets custody of the sexy lingerie.

"You bought it for me!"

"But I look better in it."

Yeah. I'm not seeing any of that on TV. I am looking forward to the new season of Destination Truth on Sci-Fi. Have you seen this? It's like In Search of, but with a cooler host. It's far less travelogue and far more party Sci-guy having fun. Usually I stop caring whether they find the monster half way through the episode. I'm just glad to be part of the fun. It appeases cranky Rob.

I'm wondering if the host will take requests.

"Hello, Josh Gates?"

"Yeah?"

"I've got a show idea."

"Oh…Kay…those are usually handled by my producers."

"Yeah, but I thought it would be more effective calling your home number."

"Well, this is my girlfriends house."

"I know, you weren't home."

"So you've got me. What's your pitch?"

"I want you to find out what happened to my marriage."

"Is this a joke?"

"No, I'm serious. I'm thinking you could bring the crew in, I could give you a reinact—"

"We don't do that. Have you even watched my show?"

"Yeah, it's great. I especially liked the Yeti quest."

"Thanks. I don't do relationships—No, not you honey, the koo-FAN on the phone. He want's me to do an episode on his marriage. No, I'm not going to invite him for coffee--Ok I'm back. Sorry, I can't help."

"Your show is Destination Truth. I want to find some."

"Look, you want the truth? You're a freak! You spend way too much time obsessing over me and your divorce. Move on buddy! Honey, where's my cell? I'm gonna call the--"

Click.

Wow. He's right! I have been obsessing! Maybe if I can find some new programming I can move on and be happy again. It's just so hard. The only thing New I've had all year is The Sarah Conner Chronicles. And let's face it, if you've seen one sexy girl robot you've seen them all. Ok, maybe that's a lie, but Josh is right, I shouldn't obsess over that either. Josh is like a guru! Maybe I'll call him back. Naw, I'll give him some alone time with his girlfriend. I don't want him to be cranky. He may be the one person who can make me happy. I'll call him tomorrow, that way I can let him know he forgot his cell here in his car. These are comfortable seats.