"...but in a language that you can't read - just yet…"-Death Cab For Cutie

Today greeted me with 2 emails clutched in it's fists like the Raisin Bran Sunshine:

"Rob,

Do you ever talk about anything other than divorce?"

-InfrequentReader

Hi Rob,

I was reading this description on Pandora and came across a term I'd never heard, "shoegaze" it seems to be a movement in music given the context…"

-CoolFriend

Dear Infrequentreader, I recommend you read this: [image]"

"Hey CoolFriend, It's actually a divorce term…"

No, I didn't say that to CoolFriend. It does describe a period of our marriage though. Or maybe 2 periods. I think the early shoegazer days were the best. It's when the scene was really happening, There was lots of milling about, cool clubs and smoky rooms where things were so tight and sounds just bounced off the walls.

The shoegaze period replaced the eyegaze years. Those were my favorites. I have a thing for eyes. I like the women I date to have them. Two is best but I'm not an anti-cyclopsite. One-eye, three-eyes, black-eye, pink-eye. I like them all. I like eyes I can fall into. MyUnwife had those. I think she still does. I tried to get them as part of the settlement, but she no longer had eyes for me.

Sorry, crap joke but what do you want on a shoegazing Thursday, (or Friday if you're a Divorce360.com miller.)

Shoegazing began as complacency set in. We stopped "seeing" each other and started just acknowledging each other as the "cold feet in my bed." Oh sure there was still knocking boots, but there was more furry toes and slipper-socks than anything else. If we were more than shoegazers, we'd have done something about it, I suppose we just grew calloused. Yeah, see? You were looking up, you saw that coming didn't you? That's why you're not a shoegazer.

The second era of shoegazing came when we knew it was over. It was sad, but I remember it as a compassionate time. We alternated. One person looked up, while the other buried their head. We were good that way. If I ever make it to eyegazing again I want somebody I can do that with. Somebody who's not afraid to say, "Rob steer left, your going to walk into that—nevermind."

I explained that to CoolFriend, with diagrams and arrows and relationship trees. They emailed me back saying, "Look up and step away from the divorce slowly…"

Musical shoegazers were bands from the late 80's to mid 90s: bands like Catherine Wheel, Jesus and Mary Chain, and Ringo Deathstarr. Essentially, as I really told my friend, they were bands "that created guitar soundscapes and vocals that were harmonic but indistinguishable. They were called shoegazers because of their lackluster performance skills. Most of it's musicians stood on stage and stared at the floor. "

I used to answer questions like this all the time before I became a shoegazer myself. The cool thing was that the questions forced me to look up. Like "Vamping." Other than Vaudeville, and bad Anne Rice knock-0ff writers, I had no idea what this term meant. A friend asked about a musical definition, and I researched it. I love that. I love music. I could research music for days. Right now I'm all about "shoegazing" and "no-fault."

Oh, I'm healed and all, it's just that that’s what everybody wants to talk about. I still love music, and I'm looking for new things to sing about, but the world isn't really ready to hear that yet. So for now I'll just jot things down.

Last night I was in my writers group. A movement and a flash made me look up from my Nikes. I saw a smiling face looking back at me as it crossed between stacks of books. It looked familiar, but it wasn't. It was just the first time in a long time that I'd stopped shoegazing long enough to see open eyes again. "Oh, so that's what a face looks like…" Does anybody want to hear about that?