The world according to the Beatles: it was 20 years ago today... Well that day changes every day you listen to the song, doesn't it? It's like watching Rudy again and again. Each time you think maybe Rudy make the team, and each time you and Rudy are both disappointed. That's ok. He may not be good at football, but he makes one heck of a pillow fighting hobbit. Put him on a spit with an apple in his mouth, and he's also good eats.
More Sam Spam anyone?
That's the great thing about movies and music: anniversaries shift like a Rubik's cube. Each calendar twist moves it further away or draws it one square closer to their now. In real life anniversaries are indelible; they stick to one date. You can't lift them to clean the blot underneath, or move them to another room because company is coming over; the stain is always there. They're black calendar jots, and they're going nowhere.
I know what you're saying, "But Rob, you're anniversary isn't until next month." Well, first off, thanks for remembering. What did you get me? Second off, That's not the anniversary I'm talking about. You can still get me gifts though. I never turn them away, no matter which calendar blemish you're celebrating.
It was this weekend last year that I sat in a Laughlin Hotel while MyEx moved out. Now I probably wasn't sitting in my room, cuz, staring at the walls, dwelling on MyEx's Exodus from our dwelling wasn't a smart survival technique. If I were going to do that, I might as well have parked my car on the curb, and watched the movers like they were a drive-in actors.
"Oh look! There goes my sofa! More popcorn--extra salt, please!"
For those of you not from the west coast, Laughlin is Las Vegas' ugly half sister. What happens in Laughlin, probably won't stay there, but chances are it won't matter. You could get in more trouble skipping third period algebra.
I was in a casino hotel because Laughlin casinos are cheap. So are their hotels. I didn't have a lot of money to spend, but the brochure promised swimming pools and 115 degree heat. It also pictured cabana boys wandering past the deep end, tossing in bay seasoning every 15 minutes. They used the water to boil lobsters. I stayed in the casino, scaring off the tourists.
"Are you here with your wife?"
"Oh no, I'm staying here while she's moving out of my house."
"OK--Well I think I need to check out the swimming pool."
Yeah, I was fun to be around at that time. Cocktail waitresses kept away from me like Dance Debs from polyester. Casino floor drinks are free, and I was lying in the middle of Harrah's paisley eye sore weeping loudly lapping for liquor. Unlike Rudy, This wasn't my proudest moment. In fact, it was probably like Sgt. Peppers 50th reunion, except they'll never have one. It's always only 20 years ago today…
Still it was a better place to hang out than at my house. MyEx had hired movers and was directing them what to take and what to leave. If I'd have been there, I'd have told them where to put it. Yeah. Sobbing on a casino carpet was a much better place for the friendly divorce.
Actually it was a good distraction. I played a few games, and I think that I left with everything I arrived with. You can't say that on many vacations. Interestingly enough though, I couldn't say that about my return home. It definitely wasn't the same as I'd left it.
Still, MyEx didn't take hardly anything that we didn't already discuss. In fact, I could tell she'd tried to be diplomatic about some things. I want to say I appreciated that, but I wasn't in an appreciative mood. I probably wouldn't say much about appreciation at all.
So now it's a year later. The anniversary is here. How do I feel? Pretty good, really. Not "good" that MyEx left or "good" that she packed the dish and ran away with the spoon. But "good" that I made it a year on my own. I proved I could survive without the things she took away. Like Rudy, I may suck, but I'm still in the game.
See I think we need to take time to remember how far we've come. In track, they say never look back, but I think it's an important thing to do in life. It's not about letting that guy behind you catch up, it's about letting your heart and your spirit catch up. It's saying, "look how far we've come," before you work towards that distance you still need to complete.
I look forward to the day I can say "it was 20 years ago today," and unlike Sgt Pepper, I'm not cursed to live the same anniversary over and over. I can move forward. I can thrive.
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