"I had to think awhile…"-Modest Mouse

I’m gonna go get touched like I haven't been touched in six months. That's right it's time for my visit with Beverly, my dental hygienist.

It's kinda weird. I'm afraid somebody in the office will mention MyUnwife. What do I say? I mean I know what to say, but still. Will they stare at me? Treat me like the outcast I am? Maybe Beverly will say "uh, huh.." and then start maliciously prodding my mouth. I've seen the dentist horror movies! Beverly wields a glistening steel scraper!

Ok, scratch that whole thing before the scraper. I just reread that and realized that "no I'm not concerned about these things." Huh…

It's like when I sprained my ankle. Climb into the Way-back machine with me, Sherman, let's go see that, shall we? I first sprained my ankle in high school. I lived 8 miles outside of town and rode the bus. I know, this is already sounding like a story my grandfather told me too, but hang in there.

In the winter it got really cold, and rather than stand out and freeze my ass off, I'd time my walk so that the bus and I arrived at the stop at same time. I was good. Ok, that's a lie; the bus driver was patient. One morning, I was way behind. The bus pulled up as I scrambled down the last hill to the stop. Mentally, I willed the bus not to pull out before I made the stop. My attention wasn't on my footing, and I stepped on a rock that shot out from underneath me. I would have fallen down and rolled into a ditch, if I hadn't bounced off the ball of my ankle. Lucky me: still standing but ready to pass out in pain. I made the bus that morning. The driver yelled at me for being late, but I couldn't tell you what she said. The outside world was vanishing in a tunnel of grey pain…

It took weeks for my ankle to heal. Even after it healed, I remained cautious with it. I coddled it, doing anything I could to keep it from pain. At least until the next month, when I needed to run to catch the bus again. Running down the hill I realized, "Hey! My ankle is healed!" Any other time in my life this is where I would have twisted it again, but that day, God smiled upon me. That day, God saved irony, because irony is a dish best served as a surprise.

Anyway, the ankle thing. It's the same thing I just noticed about my divorce. I thought about my divorce and realized I'm okay with it. Not as in, "Nothing I can do about it." but more like "oh yeah, I was married once." It's weird. I think about MyUnwife, and I'm not mad. I don't miss her; I just—let's just say that she's 10 of my favorite years now passed. You remember the first time you went to Disneyland (or "world" for all my Floridian friends)? You spent the whole day having the coolest time,. Riding the rides, standing in lines, tossing cold ones back with your favorite characters, until it was time to go? Then, your parents had to pry you from Mickey's leg with a breaker bar. The whole next day all you wanted to do was go back, because it was so cool. That's how I viewed my marriage. Say what you will about the good, the bad, the fault, the blame, the whys and the who cares, blah, blah, blah. It was 10 of my favorite years. Period. It'll be hard to top.

But I will. The trip is over, now it's back to the life of Rob. I have a good life when I look at it. It get's to be a little lonely, but that's not irreparable. I just have to make time for other people. But the marriage of me and MyUnwife? I'm done. I don't say that out of anger, or one-upmanship. I say that the same way a three year old throws a tantrum.

"WAAAAAAA!"

"You can come out of your room when you're done."

"WAAAAAAA!"

"WAAAAAA!"

"Ok, I'm done."

I'm still sitting in my room, but I'll be out in time. When the time is right, the State of California will decree that it's over and I'll put my ring somewhere that's not on my finger and close this chapter. Emotionally though, my tantrum is done.

What does that mean to you my dear reader? Weill The blog is still about divorce, so I'll talk about it. I'll talk about my day to day. I'll answer questions, but I think I'm done dealing with MyUnwife. If you want to hear more about her, she's on that pedestal in the past. This is Rob's blog, and Rob has a future, and a date with some dental tools.