Hiya, I hope you're still single! That's how the email started. You can probably guess where it went from there. I didn't guess, I read every word to be sure. Yeah, go ahead, go back reread it; I had to read it again too. This isn't the type of mail I usually find in my mailbox. So, I sipped my coffee, and read it a few more times. I had to be sure.
By the time the letters burned images into my monitor, two points still sat weird for me. Still single? That was one. I didn't know I was single to begin with, let alone "still." The sender liked something I'd written on another site, and progressed to the next step in internet attraction: my profile. Apparently she liked what she saw enough to write me. Some how she'd translated "Divorced" as single, but that's an easy mistake. I'd mistakenly put "married" when I originally signed up. Ok, I was married, but I made the mistake of thinking it would last.
I only changed the "married" to "divorced" as a statement to myself. A proclamation of whatever it is you say to yourself when your wife leaves you. They didn't have a "Sucks to be you" option, so I clicked on "divorced." I didn't expect anybody else to see it. I didn't expect anybody else to care.
I remember wondering why the only choices were "Single," "Married," or "Divorced." What about that interim state "Divorcing" Why is it that there's only a past tense on that verb? I've never seen a divorce go so quickly that it's not a process. The average American divorce takes 7 years to complete. Ok, that's a lie. I just made it up, but it sounded right as the words ran through my fingers. Maybe it's dog years. Anyway my point is: why is there never a "Divorcing" option for "marital status" columns? Something for those of us who definitely aren't married, but really aren't single yet either. We're chrysalises. That's what we'll call ourselves! Chrysalis. I probably won't use the term sitting with a bunch of guys though; They'll think it means that I didn't just fall off the horse, they think I've turned away from the horse completely.
"Howdy cowboy…"
No, we'll keep "chrysalis" to our little cocoon colony.
The other thing that struck me about the email is the obvious thing. In fact, it's the first thing I noticed. Really, the Chrysalis thing was more of an afterthought; me trying to avoid the other issue. Somebody actually thought enough of me to come onto me in an email. Hell, I haven't had a woman make overtly friendly gestures in almost a year, let alone wish I was single. Ok, that's not completely true. MyUnwife wished I was single. Oh, and there was that friendly dinner invitation, even if I did turn it down. Maybe that's why I don't count it. Maybe that's why I won't count this one. The girl was sweet for emailing me, but I am a chrysalis; I'm also not what she wants. Her email suggests she's looking for something emotionally casual, physically aggressive. You read my blog. You know that's not me. Still, it was nice to hear. It's been a long time since somebody's suggested I'd be good at that.
Maybe that's something we should all do. No, not go the way of all wicked bunnies. I mean Contact a chrysalis or divorced friend and say "Hey! I know you're there, and you're really cool." If nothing else they'll spend their day wondering what the hell that was all about. And as A fellow chrysalis, I'm here to tell you, that's better than thinking of the divorce. My admirer closed her email with "Have a great day." Thanks to her, I did.
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