Did you know the shelf life of heavy cream? I just bought some for a soup I'm making and it doesn't die until January. That's longer than the grey pancake batter matter I threw away last night. The rest of the soup can go bad but the cream in the broth will be still kicking. Well I suppose broth doesn't kick does it? It's the things you throw in the broth that kick.
My soup won't kick. It's not that kind of soup. It's got potatoes, kale, and Italian sausage. Oh, there are other things, but you get my point. The other things would just bore you. Well you might find the secret ingredient exciting.
"Want to see a mouse on a leash?"
Oh no! That's just my neighbor's kid. He caught a field mouse yesterday and put it on a string. It's a friend, not dinner. I remember when I was that easily excited. I think it was last week.
I never had a mouse on a leash though. I had mice in my kitchen. That was fun. We had 2 cats, all they did was sit in front of the cabinet.
"You know you have mice in there?"
"Why yes. Would you like to do something about that?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I'm a cat."
"Yes and cat's eat mice."
"I beg your pardon? I may play with them, but I certainly will not be eating one."
So I became designated rodent slayer. MyUnwife wanted nothing to do with critter-cide. She just said that there would be no sticky paw tape. The mice weren't allowed to live in her kitchen, but there would be no suffering under the sink.
Fine I could deal with that. I wasn't big on standard traps. I'm a klutz; A broken finger wasn't hard to imagine. I looked at a few catch and release traps. We both thought those were great ideas. Except the part where the only release point was a vacant lot behind our house. I wasn't going to send my mice on vacation, so that they could come back home with memorabilia and mouse ears. Well they already had the ears, but you know what I mean.
I finally settled on the zapper. The mouse went in for a piece of kibble, completed an electrical circuit, and immediately lost his appetite. It sucked for the mouse, but it did get them out of the kitchen.
I wish that the divorce could be like that. I mean, I'm not fond of being the mouse, but a quick zap and it's done. I could deal with that. But there are so many levels, financial, emotional, and everyday. It's like an infestation in and of itself. I walk into my living room to find that it's eaten half my furniture. I go into the kitchen and it's raided my spice cabinet. There are holes in every aspect of my life. There's a huge hole where MyWife should be. I'd like to zap it but I can't. It's like this one trap I saw. It held the mouse in the cage, but then you hooked up this thing they called the "drowning attachment, " and well you can guess the rest. That's kinda how I feel. I see life, and I live it within my confines, but the water is pouring in and there's no where to go. Add some special herbs and spices, and I'd make a great soup.
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