Thank you. Stop looking to see who's behind you. There's nobody there. Stop looking! Really I'm talking to you. I can see you--oh, and your hair looks really good today. Much better than yesterday.--Anyway, I mean you, my reader. That's right. I'm saying thanks. See what a great guy I am? Say thank you back.
No really.
I'm waiting…
Thank you, that's better. See, it's you readers who've helped me through this divorce. I appreciate that. Those of you who popped up and said "I agree" or even "Uhm, Rob, I think there's an ointment that might help, but you really need to see a professional." I really needed what you gave me. Yes, even the ointment. Oh, and I still have a half tube left, so if anybody needs some...
You guys are great. Pat yourselves on the back. We all need a network of people to help us through the tough times. Some people are blessed with large families or strong community ties, others have to sit on their lawn with a gopher trap just to catch somebody to talk to. You, you were my somebody. Thanks.
I remember when things were tough, when MyEx had just moved out and my grandfather died I was kind of alone. I had a reader offer distraction by talking about board games and Warner Brothers cartoons. What's more, she didn't say "That's all folks," once. It had to be tempting. The same reader gave me a title and sub plot to a story and doesn't even know it. That's fine. I guess they're a true giver: benevolent and invisible. If they ever appear again I'll thank them.
In the mean time, I'll cast my "awww" upon you. that's the thing about the reader/writer community. People say readers are fickle, I disagree. Readers have needs like the rest of us. So long as a writer suits those needs, there's a relationship. If a writer ceases to fill those needs, the reader moves on.
That's why readers like writers, they're easy to move away from when you're done, and there's no messy split.
"You keep your pen and paper, I'll keep the book. It's been great."
The investment is the character, not the writer, so when you're done, you go. The writer continues to write new characters for new people. Nobody gets hurt. Writers are easy to leave. Ask MyEx. Oh, sorry, that was a bitter moment. We writers are known for those.
Readers are known for reading. They read for all kinds of interesting reasons. I once had a woman attend my writers group who wrote Brokeback love stories. It seemed odd to me, a woman writing about men and the men who love them.
Ok…
She explained that it was a niche market. The demographic was married women trapped in loveless marriages who wanted to read torrid romances without feeling like they were cheating.
Really? So guy on guy action fills that hole in their life (so to speak)? Dude! I didn't even know these women existed. It's kind of secret. I guess that makes it more of a sect than a niche. We writers, we're always learning something.
Right now I'm not focusing on her stories. In fact I'm backing away slowly. What I am focusing on is my readers. I say thank you for holding me up and for all the things you taught me over the past year. I've been trained in New Years customs and elves working in customs (apparently they work there next to Warf from Star Trek. Who knew? Gopher from the Love Boat works in my yard. I already knew that.); I've learned a lot. Most importantly I've learned how to be me again. For that I owe you. If you go visit MyEx she'll write you all a check. Just tell her Rob sent you. No, better not do that, you'll get a cat in the face. I hear there are people who pay double for that. Maybe it's a writers niche too. Still to be safe, you should just go and ask for money, don't mention me.
While you're recovering from being pussy-whipped I'll continue to write. I'll write about Rob's goods and bads. Feel free to drop by and help out whenever you like. I promise you, even though my divorce is final, my life is still far from perfect. There's plenty of idiosyncrasies for everyone. Thank you for stopping by.
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