"…To help prevent a bleeding accident."
Oh, my! It' sounds like a product for people getting divorced. Maybe it is, but it's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. It's Woolite. It's just for cleaning his grime from your white sweater. Yeah, we're not selling Kevlar T-shirts or even something to staunch the wounds from those dagger looks. Nope, they're only concerned with color bleeding here.
I'm concerned with what's on TV. I'm taking a break and I'd like to find something worth watching. I've got laundry in the washer, my barbeque sauce is simmering, I don't have any work, and I'd like to just relax for a few minutes before I start a big project like cleaning the house.
Right now I'm flipping through channels and I've got nothing. One of the channels is showing high school softball. I suppose it's better than a T-ball tourney. I shouldn't complain. Shouldn't, but that hasn't stopped me yet, has it?
Mmmm. Simmering sauce...
Oh, and speaking of complaining, I got a birthday gift last night. The city didn't know what to get me, so they "invited" me to participate in 12 angry men. Well it's just the auditions. They should change the name. It should be called "12 people who couldn't gnaw their legs off fast enough to get off jury duty, but that's just me. I'm a hopping optimist, remember? Hoping? Yeah, I guess that works too...
I know I know. Civic duty and all that, but how many of you look forward to a jury summons? How many of you sit in the selection box and shout "Ohh, Ohh! Pick me! Pick me!" big red #1 finger in the air, blind justice face paint, showing your support for truth, justice and the American way. If you were supporting the American way, you'd be over with me with your list of excuses signed by Mom, doctor, lawyer and Indian Chief. The butcher and baker are no help.
No, the best way to handle a summons is the truth--at least for me. My employer won't take care of me if I'm on jury duty. Oh, Employ-a-Rob pretends they will, but I've seen their jury plan in writing. The words say "Rob gets screwed."
Still, just like my divorce, I'll go down, do my thing. If I have to follow through, I'll do it to the best of my ability.
I'd planned on going out for coffee last night, to celebrate the city's gift, but my car gave me a surprise birthday present too: a flat tire. Yep. I got a few blocks from my house, hit a bump, and the car dropped even further.
Pulling over, I checked it out. Sure enough, the street gave me a flat. Luckily, it didn't unwrap it, so maybe I can take it back and tell somebody I don't want it. Yeah, I know, but it's worth a try.
So now I'm rethinking my birthday wish. "Lot of presents" isn't turning out quite what I planned. Or at least the first 2 have kinda sucked. I mean I'm not trying to piss on the gift horse (he charges extra for that), but something new might be nice. Something that doesn't cost me time or money.
I know, too picky. You know what's worse? As hard as I try, I still haven't ruined my vacation. I mean I'm trying--really hard-- but it's still good. Yesterday I took a friends advice and got birthday wine. That was a total mistake. I mean I got out of the house, and bought wine! How is that going to screw up my holiday? Why is it that no matter how hard I try I manage to have fun. Maybe this high school softball will set things back in order.
Wine and family gather for a picture.The happy
occasion turns tragic when they realize the
photographer is drinking cousin merlot's brains...
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