"...and of better days from this town, we'd escape…"-My Morning Jacket

I'm home!


Man, I love my family, but nothing like spending 3 days with your loved ones to make you appreciate living alone again. My sister and her kids are staying with my folks. That's four adults to my sister's four beautiful little girls with all the eyes and energy of anime heroines. We were outnumbered. The youngest is so cute, she talks a lot, in a language only she and her sisters can understand. She calls my mom's poodle Ree-Roe. His name is Romeo. He responds to her; she's normally dropping food. He's not picky what you call him when there's food involved. He's spoiled anyway: my mom feeds him steak.


The last day, my youngest niece let me know it was time to go.


She hops on my leg for a half hour until I finished reading to the three others, then grabs a Disney book. Plopping it in my lap, she slips up beside me and says


"Uncle Rob, I find Beauty and the Beast slightly misogynistic and trite. Although the key character is female, she's treated disrespectfully. It's not until the third act that she's allowed to come into her own, and by then the damage is already done. As I young girl, I am unable to follow her a role model."


"But what about the furniture? They treat her well."


"That's just a hallucination of her Halcyon addled mind. It's obvious the Beast is drugging her and plans to keep her that way for the rest of her life."


"I see, but what about…"


When I start understanding her every word, it's time for me to leave. My sister is just stared at me like I'd lost my mind. That's possible too.


The memorial ceremony was nice. It was long enough to be thoughtful, but short enough to not become maudlin. The pews were full; many people already missed my grandfather. I was happy to see them all there. I figure if 5 people show up to my funeral, I'll stand up out of the coffin and wave. Sure they might pass out, but that's more people than I expect.


I did miss MyUnwife a little during the proceedings. I sat watching my uncles' wives comforting them as the priest gave the eulogy, and I wanted that. Not their wives to comfort me, but I missed having someone there for that. Despite all the mean nasty cruel things I say about MyUnwife, there were times she could be caring in just the right way. I miss that.


After the ceremony we went back to my grandmothers place. Walmart donated all the food we could ever need, and everybody ate laughed and remembered grandpa. He would have liked that. My dad and I sat in the back room, where he asked me questions about my divorce. He's great that way. He cares, so he starts asking all this qualifying questions. Not to change my mind or anything, just to make sure he understands what's going on, and by proxy, I understand as well. Yeah sitting over ham and cheese, Dad helped me work through a lot of things going on in my life.


When all the well-wishers went home, we did the same--after making sure things were picked up and good with Grandma. There, My sister showed me what Mom had done to all the photos of MyUnwife and I. She'd put stickers over all the faces of MyUnwife.


Family is great. They know what to do to make me smile.


You're the greatest, Mom!