"She just hit you with a soccer ball, what are you going to do about it?"
That's what I hear as I'm sweeping the sand dunes from my driveway. The winds have subsided and now's the best time to get rid of the silt before the neighbor kids try to build sand castles. It's not a knock to their talent, I just don't need to give them something to hide behind. They're violent and they have soccer balls!
Kids resole issues the best way they can. When I was a kid, Jenny Gardner whipped me with a jump rope until I apologized. I don't even remember what I did, but I do remember the welts. She may have hit like a girl but she cracked a whip like a woman.
I think she grew up to be a dominatrix.
But that's not where I'm going with this. Things were simple then. That's what I'm trying to say. Now as adults we struggle and strain to draw things out. We've learned to enhance the pain, making it unbearable for everyone involved. That's the grown up way.
Maybe Jenny being a dominatrix is where I was going with this.
One thing hasn't changed: Pride and comeuppance are more important than forgiveness and mercy. We hurt and somebody must suffer. If somebody doesn't bleed, how will anybody know I was wronged?
That's divorce. It's adults in a courtroom sandbox flinging sand and kitty treasures at each other. Even the friendly divorce leave room for shin cracks with a baseball bat.
"Oh, I was trying to hand that to you."
"That's ok honey." I wait till you find the barbed wire on the toilet seat.
The problem is there's no playground monitor to make sure the adults play fair. We're expected to play nice because we're adults. Who thought that was a good idea? That's like my mom leaving my little sister to guard the cookies. She always got the good gigs.
Even MyUnwife and I had our little spats. She took my blender! You saw that. Well, not her taking my blender but you saw the tantrum. It was a good tantrum too. I could have done something nasty in return. I should have. It doesn't matter if it was an accident. I was wronged. Somebody must bleed.
How do we work around this? How do we find a way to be nice?
She hit you with a soccer ball, what are you going to do about it?
The passive aggressive warrior sees the ball as half the reason she'll get in trouble for something she didn't do, later.
Me? I'm done. I just want to take my ball and go home. But I can't. She's still got the stupid thing and it looks like she wants to play bombardment.
Yeah, things haven't really changed at all have they?
2 comments:
Hi Rob. Why did you move all the cool stuff over here? Also, why is there a word verification at the bottom?
Howdy ExtendedForecast. "The cool stuff?" That kind of talk puts you on my Christmas list, and considering how short that list is these days, you should be in high clover (hope you're not allergic).
I moved the content because the divorceU.com site will be republishing the stuff from my "Friendly" site. Because I don't own the rites to the videos, they won't republish those, and they had asked for a few changes to make it more consistent with their site, and easier for them to republish. Since they're doing me a favor, I decided to help them. I moved the content that was more "Rob" related and less "Divorce" related over here.
And thank you for being my accidental beta-tester/guinea pig. I didn't know about the verification thing. It should be turned off now. ALSO, I am sorry, I would have replied sooner, but the "email comment" function wasn't turned on. I only just found out you posted.
"Cool stuff?" you rock!
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