I'm fading.
I've been averaging 5 hours sleep per night since Wednesday, and my mind is slow cooking like a crock-pot roast. Now it's Sunday, and the clock says I'm in for more of the same. Yup. Just drop in a few potatoes and then peel the neurons back with a fork.
My friend from Phoenix left this morning. In a few hours, I'll drive out the same road he did. I wonder if I travel over his tread marks if it will be like sitting in the same car. Ok, of course not. That's stupid. It's good and tender in my skull.
That's one of the things I miss about MyUnwife. Not the tender skull, I miss riding in the same car and talking. Especially the trip to my folks place. That's a 6 hour drive, and even when we didn't talk, the silent companionship was all I needed. It was sort of like love by osmosis.
Other times we talked about the music on the radio, idiots on the road, or whatever crossed our path. A rabbit and a bird crossed our path the last trip. She took them both out. The rabbit almost got away. She swerved. She's nothing if not single minded. Her brain doesn't mush.
Other than animal target practice, our last trip was silent. It was Thanksgiving, didn't feel thankful. She felt mad. She told me later she felt like dividing our assets. I've told you this story, so there's no reason to scratch the scab. I think she smiled, pretending the wren wedged in the cars grill was me. I quickly removed him. I couldn't have her getting ideas.
"He was picking up the newspaper and I accidentally ran him over. Oh he rolled away when I pulled through the garage door, but I backed over his head. Problem solved. I mean, oops."
Yeah, good-bye mister bird. In reality, I do remember that she felt bad about the bird and rabbit. I also remember that my folks have a daybed with a trundle that we slept on when we stayed. Last time we went, the trundle was turned backwards so that the head of one bed was at the foot of the other. I turned it around so that we could "Sleep together."
MyUnwife shrugged, turned out the light and fell asleep. I remember the silence that night. She didn't feel bad about that. In fact, I'm sure she'd be happy to know that It affected me. That's one round she won.
This trip will be another. My last 10 years of trips to Prescott included her. This will be the first time in a long time I've gone back alone. Nobody in the car, nobody to come home to.
Wow! That sounds kind of pathetic when I type it out. That's what I get for cutting my sleep so short. The darker shadows seem so much longer when cast against heavy eyelids. That was the other thing about driving together. We kept each other awake.
Hey! That's what you can do! Call my cell. I've got a bluetooth headset, you can talk to me, just like you're in the car. I can babble about whatever crosses my brain, and we can sing to the radio. You can even tell my how bad you need me to pull into the next rest stop, and then you laugh when I do.
"Ha ha! Fooled you again!"
"You are so tricky." I'm also pretty punchy when I'm tired. I'll fall for anything. It's like shooting birds and rabbits in a barrel.
So, I'm going out alone. It may be tough, but I think the small furry critters will be relieved to hear that I'm doing it.
Now to get my next 5 hours of slee...
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